Dirty Jokes

<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="guyLifeImageDiv" style="text-align: center;"><strong><img align="middle" alt="undefined" border="0" src="http://idiva.com/media/content/2011/Jul/inlinesexjokes.jpg" title="undefined" /></strong></div><br /> The next best thing to actually having sex is laughing about others' follies in the bedroom. Enjoy these five dirty jokes!<br /> <br /> <br /> <strong>Room Service</strong><br /> <br /> A man is in a hotel lobby and wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow nudges her chest.<br /> <br /> They are both startled and he says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your bosom, I know you'll forgive me."<br /> <br /> She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221." <br /> <br /> <strong><br /> <strong>Sexy Pickle Slicer</strong></strong>Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years before he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the<strong> </strong>pickle slicer. <br /> <br /> His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about this strange desire, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. <br /> <br /> One day a few weeks later, Bill came home absolutely ashamed. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. <br /> <br /> "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.<br /> <br /> "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" <br /> <br /> "Oh, Bill, you didn't." <br /> <br /> "Yes, I did."<br /> <br /> "My God, Bill, what happened?" <br /> <br /> "I got fired." <br /> <br /> "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" <br /> <br /> "Oh...she got fired too."<br /> <br /> <br /> <strong><strong>Who Wears The Pants Now?</strong></strong><br /> The newlyweds are in their honeymoon suite and the groom decides to start asserting himself right away.<br /> <br /> He proceeds to take off his trousers and throw them at his bride.<br /> <br /> He says, "Put those on."<br /> <br /> The bride replies, "I can't wear your trousers."<br /> <br /> He replies, "And don't forget that! I will always wear the pants in this relationship!"<br /> <br /> The bride takes off her underwear and throws them at him and says, "Try those on!"<br /> <br /> He replies,"I can't get into your panties!"<br /> <br /> Comes her retort, "And you never bloody will if you don't change your attitude."<br /> <br /> <br /> <strong>Quite A Specimen</strong><br /> There was an elderly man whose efforts to get his young wife pregnant had failed. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. <br /> <br /> The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. <br /> <br /> The elderly man came back the next day with an empty specimen cup.<br /> <br /> The doctor asked, "What was the problem?" <br /> <br /> The elderly man replied, "Well, I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand..nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing. <br /> <br /> On hearing this the doctor said, "Wait a minute! You mean your wife's friend tried too?" <br /> <br /> The elderly man responded, "Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off that damn cup!"<br /> <br /> <br /> <strong>Trick Photography</strong><br /> On their first night together, a newlywed couple go to change. The bride comes out of the bathroom, showered and wearing a beautiful robe. <br /> <br /> The proud husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe." <br /> <br /> The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished.<br /> <br /> "Oh, oh, aaaahhh," he exclaims, "My God you are so beautiful, let me take your picture. <br /> <br /> Puzzled she asks, "My picture?" <br /> <br /> He answers, "Yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart forever".<br /> <br /> She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to shower. <br /> <br /> He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, "Why do you wear a robe? We are married now." At that, the man opens his robe and she exclaims, "oh, OH, OH MY, let me get a picture." <br /> <br /> He beams and asks why.<br /> <br /> She answers, "So I can get it enlarged!"<br /> <br /> <a href="http://guylife.com/news-lifemore/humour-dirty-jokes/6496">http://guylife.com/</a><br /> <br /> </div> <!-- Below is the AtContent repost button code. Please don't delete or change it in any way. --> <script async="true" src="https://w.atcontent.com/-/7_F3SkZ7fTM/tech09/2LkAaKB9ebF.text/Panel/Autocheck"></script>

Dirty Jokes

2:16:00 PM

The next best thing to actually having sex is laughing about others' follies in the bedroom. Enjoy these five dirty jokes! Room Service A man is in a hotel lobby and wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accide… Read more »

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